


Dwobbits, Dwobbits Everywhere

by smileybagel



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hobbit Fertility, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Post BoFA, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileybagel/pseuds/smileybagel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a hobbit_kink prompt.</p><p>Bilbo had always wanted a large family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dwobbits, Dwobbits Everywhere

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: "Bilbo is a real dwobbit machine, and Fíli makes an excellent father."

The first child was a surprise to most, though a welcome surprise she was.

It was not long after the Mirkwood that the Company's resident burglar had approached Fili with a question that set his face aflame. Kili still teases him about it to this day, but the younger brother shuts up as soon as Fili deposits his daughter into his arms. The question, request might be more accurate, came as a shock to the prince, especially when it was voiced so sweetly by Bilbo Baggins.

"Um...Fili? If I may have a word with you..." The halfing had shot a look to Kili who was stuck to Fili's side as usual and leveled him with a pointed stare, Fili remembered. "Alone, if that can be arranged."

And so it was. Fili pushed his brother away and sent him off to Thorin who had him scout for a time, and then pushed all his attention onto the hobbit who fidgeted and shuffled from foot to foot in front of him. Fili sighed and crossed his arms, looking down at the hobbit with some impatience. There were things he could be doing right now, like hunting or trying to figure out how to open the secret door.

"I wish to formally express my d-desire to court you, Fili."

It was not long after that that the Company found themselves with a happy couple on their hands. Despite the dangers that they still faced and the gold sickness that overcame the dwarrows, Bilbo and Fili managed to stay alive and stay true to each other, even when Thorin threatened to throw the poor hobbit over the mountain, and even when Fili was laid up in bloody bandages and laughed off his injuries as if they were kitten scratches.

Bilbo gave him some more wounds to cry about, all of which was fully supported by Dis when she arrived some weeks later and heard about the halfing's exploits, much to the prince's dismay.

Once the battle was won, treaties (angerly signed by a certain dwarf-king) made, wounds completely healed, and many items were delivered from the Shire, a wedding was held. It wasn't the most supported union, as many of the dwarves from the Blue Mountains doubted Bilbo's worth as Fili's husband, but they newlyweds hardly let that ruin their wedding night. They had heard whispers among the dwarves, murmurs about a puny halfing who had no right to stand by their prince when what Fili needed was a good wife who would give him an heir or two, if they were lucky. Bilbo merely stuck his nose up at them and walked off with Fili in hand, mentally laughing at the foolishness of dwarves. Oh how wrong they were to doubt the fertility of hobbits!

But just in case, Bilbo had requested their wedding to fall on Beltane, as most hobbits believed it was the most fertile time of year. The dwarves had no knowledge of this and thus thought nothing strange of Bilbo's request, thinking that the halfing would simply like a nice spring wedding to remind him of his beloved Shire.

\---

It was not until three days later that Bilbo felt the first stirrings of new life within him and immediately a wave of excitement flooded over him. Hobbits had an uncanny ability that not many other races had, which allowed them to feel pregnancies almost as soon as the child was conceived, so Bilbo did what he could. He ran.

His feet carried him as fast as they could to the training grounds where Fili was sparring with his brother, Dwalin and Thorin watching over their studies and talking among themselves near the far wall. The combined sound of the door slamming open and Bilbo's ragged breath caused Fili to falter in his steps, falling backwards when Kili tackled him while his defenses were down. The four dwarves stared at the hobbit, varying degrees of shock on their faces that soon morphed into worry. Fili was up on his feet in a flash, running to Bilbo and nearly tripping in the process before finally coming to a halt in front of the halfing, hesitantly reaching out for Bilbo, almost too nervous to touch him.

"Bilbo?! W-what is it? What's wro-"

Bilbo interrupted him with a thousand watt smile, grinning from ear to ear with a few, happy tears slipping down his cheeks.

"I'm pregnant."

In the backround, Thorin coughed on his own spit and Dwalin slapped him on the back a few times, though his expression mirrored that of Ori when faced by wargs.

"Preg- Bilbo, what are you talking about?"

"What do you think I'm talking about? Fili, we're having a baby. Isn't that grand?"

Fili sputtered and fought for words, his hands now clenching on Bilbo's shoulders. His blue eyes were blown wide and his mouth opened and closed, as if he were a fish out of water. Fili searched Bilbo's face for any trace of a lie or a joke in poor taste, but nothing was to be found.

"Well, yes, but how in Mahal's name..."

"What did ya to the poor halfing?" Dwalin bellowed from Thorin's side, arms crossed though wearing a thoroughly amused expression. Thorin was still trying to process the information, much like Kili was doing. "Did ya forcefully fuck a child into him, lad?"

Bilbo humphed and placed his hands on his hips, glaring over at Dwalin something fierce. He tapped his foot on the ground, slightly annoyed, before addressing the dwarves.

"Well at least you can grasp the basics of childmaking, Mister Dwalin. Honestly, I don't see why any of you are so surprised. I can see how a pregnancy this soon would be a bit of a surprise considering dwarf standards for fertility, but we hobbits pride ourselves on our fast growing families. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if there were two little ones growing inside me right now!" This last part was said with a chuckle as Bilbo smiled, already having forgotten his momentary annoyance directed at Dwalin. The union braids in his hair dangled and clacked together as their beads met when he shook his head in amusement, making a pleasant sound to go along with his chuckles. When Bilbo noticed that the others were not sharing in his amusement, he stopped and cocked an eyebrow at them.

"Oh, what's wrong now?"

They shifted on their feet uncomfortably, eyes going from dwarf to dwarf until finally Kili said without much ado: "Well, you're a male hobbit, aren't you? I think Fili would have mentioned any lady parts and- Ow! Uncle, what was that for?"

Thorin coughed into his hand (the very same that just smacked Kili) and exhaled, willing himself to find the right words before addressing the hobbit. "I think what Kili means is that...It's impossible for a male to become pregnant, Baggins. Surely you know this."

A look of confusion flew across Bilbo's face before understanding dawned on him. It seemed that dwarves weren't the only uninformed race in Middle Earth, then. Bilbo had been so used to seeing the full, rotund bellies of his fellow gentlehobbits that he hadn't spared a thought as to whether or not it was normal for all other beings. Really though, he should have gotten a clue when they traveled through Lake Town and only saw the rounded bellies of their women.

Thus followed a very awkward (for the dwarrows) conversation about hobbit anatomy and all of it benefits, including a history of fauntlings and the family that held the record for most children ever born to two hobbits in the memory of the Shire (which was twenty-two). Bilbo didn't realize it at first, but his audience had grown by ten. Dis and the remaining members of the Company had seen Bilbo run like a bat out of hell and followed, worried and wondering what had the hobbit so worked up.

\---

Six months later, as was the normal incubation period for hobbits both male and female, Crown Prince Fili and Prince Consort Bilbo welcomed Princess A'tona into the world. Many of the dwarrows that were still unsure about their prince's union quickly shut up about their disagreements, but many more held stead-fast to their dislike of the hobbit and made it known. When Bilbo would take his daughter with him to the markets, there were always whispers behind his back. Black magic, they claimed, demon in sheep's clothing, trying to ensnare their prince and steal his soul. Bilbo had hidden this from Fili for as long as he could, but all was for naught when the prince followed him out of the royal quarters and to the smithy without the hobbit knowing. A'tona, who was strapped to Bilbo's back, giggled when she saw her Pa sneaking through the crowd, but Bilbo passed off her happy cries as amusement when some of the dwarrows cooed at her and spoke with the smith, requesting an item for Kili's upcoming birthday.

The blacksmith scoffed and shook his head, pounding at a red hot piece of steal once, twice, before fully turning to Bilbo, holding the metal in his face as if to threaten. He looked down at the hobbit, sneer in place as he took in both father and child, though his eyes lingered on A'tona longer than Bilbo liked. Fili, from his place in the crowd, growled and mowed through the dwarves, not caring if any of them fell in that moment.

"I don' offer service to the likes of ye, hobbit. You best be gettin' fore' I got a reason to mare that pretty face of hers, little worm that she is."

"Excu-" A hand on his shoulder stopped Bilbo from saying anymore, pushing him behind Fili.

"Bilbo, step aside and let me deal with this." The prince had his sword drawn and pointing at the smith's nose, his other hand carrying its twin and clenching around the handle. Fili had his mouth open in a snarl, eyes alight with fury and trained on the smith.

"My Prince..."

"Who are you to threaten my husband and daughter?"

The smith lowered the blistering hot steal and stepped back a pace, bowing lightly at Fili and setting a fist over his heart. "Jus' a concerned subject who thinks ya could be doin' much better than this thief."

"Care how you speak of my husband, dwarf." Fili lowered his sword to the smith's neck, pressing against the skin lightly. "I could kill you here and now for treason against the Royal Family."

The smith, unafraid of the raging prince or the blade to his neck, spit out a dry laugh. "Bah! You talk as if treason hasn't already happened. If you think these people will stand fer a halfblood on the throne, ya got another thing comin', dear Prince."

Bilbo can't for the life of him recall what happened after that. One moment he was watching as Fili and the smith traded threats and the next he was safely within his rooms, holding and nursing A'tona as if nothing had happened. Though, the blood underneath his fingernails should have told him something, if Fili had not already washed them clean.

\---

A week later had Bilbo proudly announcing his second pregnancy over breakfast, little A'tona bouncing and gurgling happily in his lap, giggling as she twisted in Bilbo's hold and watched her uncles spit out what they were eating in pure shock. Bilbo had to explain to Balin once more just how fertile hobbits were.

Bilbo chewed around his fork of seed cake that afternoon, watching as Fili walked around their rooms cradling A'tona to his chest and singing to her, every so often throwing her safely in the air to get a laugh out of the girl. He smiled at them, feeling a warmth in his chest that he hadn't felt since he last saw his parents together. There was something about the way Fili handled their bundle of joy that made Bilbo's heart swell, among other things.

The hobbit sat and finished his cake, still watching as father and daughter bonded a few paces away. Fili had A'tona on the ground now, tickling her bare stomach and blowing on the skin to make amusing sounds. She gurgled that way that all babies did and bopped her Pa on the nose before tugging at his mustache braids and pulling him down. Fili nuzzled her face and picked her up, swinging her around again before holding her close and walking over to Bilbo, chuckling.

"Come on, 'Tona, I think it's time your mum put you to bed." Bilbo ignored the title and took his daughter fom Fili, though he did not make his way over to her finely crafted crib. Instead, he went to the main doors of their rooms and poked his head out, yelling for Kili and standing in the doorway until the younger prince appeared, a question already on his lips. Bilbo passed A'tona into his arms and gave him quick instructions on what do, seeming a bit rushed.

"Make sure to tuck her in tightly and hold her close as she sleeps. If she's not in our rooms, she gets worried and has to cling to someone. Keep her until the morn, if you would, Kili."

"Okay but-I mean, why-? Fili, what's Bilbo doing? Alright, alright, I'm leaving! No need to pu-" Bilbo closed the doors, successfully cutting Kili off mid-sentence and locked them. He turned around and pressed himself against the door, wearing a very mischievous expression and holding a glint in his eyes. Fili gulped.

"Um, Bilbo? Is something the matter?"

Oh no, of course not, Bilbo thought, I just can't contain myself when you're acting like the best father in the world and by the gods I want you to give me more children right now this instant.

Bilbo hadn't realized he had said that out loud until he had an armful of blonde, growling dwarf who was kissing along his neck and chuckling. "I can't very well put another child in you until this one is out, love."

"You can certainly try, Master Fili."

\---

In the nights and weeks that followed, many a dwarf sharing the royal quarters complained about a bad night's sleep. It seemed to them that Bilbo's swollen state only urged Fili on and it didn't look like they were stopping any time soon.

\---

Twelve months and three weeks later saw Bilbo sitting at the table, merrily feeding A'tona blueberries while Fili sat next to them, holding Prince Halgar and laughing along with Kili who held his twin, Prince Dulgar. A curse from the head of the table had Dwalin in a uproar as he laughed at Thorin. The king in mention was holding the second oldest Baggins child far from his person, scowling as bits and chunks of vomit coated his front. He passed off the boy to Dwalin and marched from the table, ignoring the howls of laughter from his company. The little prince, who had no idea what he had done, smacked his mouth and yawned, feeling exhausted after clearing out his stomach. Dwalin chuckled and wiped his mouth clean, cooing at the baby softly.

"There now little Frerin, sleep child."

\---

Bilbo was far happier than he could ever remember being since his mother passed. At his feet, his daughter was practicing her numbers, aligning painted, wooden blocks in the correct order and adding up the digits as she went. Closer to the fireplace and carefully watched by Ori sat his twins, playing with carved toys and mocking growling at each other. Their words were gibberish still at this stage, but as most babes did, they understood each other perfectly. Thorin was sitting in a great armchair not too far from the fire, holding Frerin in his lap and reading a book of fairy tales to the blonde child. If Bilbo didn't know better, he would have sworn he saw a few tears trickling from the king's eyes.

The doors to room opened, revealing Fili and Kili in all their glory, the former holding the newest addition to their brood. The girl was sleeping soundly in his arms, draped over her Pa's shoulder and dead to the world. Kili wandered over to Ori and the twins while Fili stalked over to Bilbo, leaning down to press a kiss on the hobbit's forehead and letting Bilbo take their daughter. After, Fili knelt down besides Bilbo's chair and placed a hand over his swollen stomach, smiling and whispering to their unborn child. Bilbo sighed happily as he took Belladonna from Fili, though he shook his head when his husband started singing to his belly.

Fili shot Bilbo an amused look before going back to the baby, running his hand over Bilbo's stomach and grinning when he felt a kick. He took Bilbo's hand in his and placed it over the spot, waiting until Bilbo felt the same kick before he started talking to his child once more.

"Fili?"

"Yes, love?"

"I think six children is enough."

"But I wanted to beat that old record of the Shire's!"

\---

It took more years than Fili would have liked, with the couple taking a few years to properly raise their children in between, but they beat the record. Their final child, the twenty-third, was born late into the winter of Bilbo's seventy-fifth year.

His name was Durin.


End file.
